Counseling 5.
Asking the right questions
When I am ministering this type of ministry approach, my job is not to provide counsel or lead a person to conclusions in a session. My job is to help them discover what is really going on inside their heart. The kinds of questions I ask should be probing into their emotional world, helping them access memories where the damage was done, and uncover the lies behind those emotions. That's my focus, because getting real with their heart is the first key to getting them healed. Giving counsel only ministers to the surface level (the logical belief in their head), but what I want to go after is far deeper than their logical mind it's the beliefs held in the heart that matter here. That's the source of their pain! Their logical beliefs will agree with all your great advise, insight, and scriptures. But it's their logical mind that all too often writes off what their heart really believes and keeps their heart denial. That is why I avoid giving advise and counsel during a session, because that often does little in terms of uprooting the faulty beliefs of their heart. The best questions to ask will be attempting to get that person in touch with their emotions, getting honest about what their heart really believes, and then dealing with the guardian lies and hangups that stand in the way of them receiving truth from the Holy Spirit. When they describe a memory where they were hurt, you might ask, "How did that make you feel?" You're probing to find the lie behind their pain here. You might get a response like, "It made me feel worthless" or "It made me feel not good enough."
You might find it helpful to repeat back to them what they just told you, and see if you can use their wording to trigger the emotion buried in their heart. Let's say they just told you that the teacher told them they were stupid, but they are feeling no emotion at all, they are numbing out asking a question such as, "And how did it make you feel when she said you were stupid?" may be just the thing to trigger the emotion. You want them to access the emotion so they can discover the core lie that needs to be uprooted.
Another trick that can be very effective in breaking through the numbness and getting emotions triggered is to ask them to visualize the memory they are in emotional denial concerning. Placing them visually in that place is a great way to get them to tap the emotions connected with that memory. I might say something like, "I want you to visualize yourself in that room when you gave your dad your report card and I want you to just put yourself in that place again. Look at your dad's face as he responds to your just-not-good-enough report. How does that make you feel when he told you that your grade was just unacceptable?" What you are trying to get them to do is get in touch with the emotion that is holding the lie that they are believing. Their numbness will prevent them from feeling the emotion that holds the lie, which is the reason they are still feeling that pain today.
Deliberately withholding the truth
There are times when I'll know the very truth that would change somebody's life, the most accurate scriptures, and the truth that would so set them free, but I don't share it with them. Why on earth would a minister do such a thing? Because that very truth that would change their life, may never change their life if it never reaches their heart. Like I said, I can talk to your mind all day long and change what it is your head believes, but many times it never sinks to your heart. How many people spend their life going to counselors who give them the best advise that would change their life, if only it went to their heart? This is specifically why I'll withhold truth from a person while ministering to them. It's not that I don't want them to know the truth, it's because I want the Holy Spirit to be the one to give it to them. He speaks to their heart, whereas I just speak to their mind which will likely never bear the fruit that would be bore if they see if it went to their heart. Getting the truth into the person's heart is the whole goal of my ministry here.
Now I might share with them stories of others who have battled similar situations, give them some truth that I know they need to hear, and try to give them a feel for what God wants to do for them. This is usually before or after a ministry session. DURING a session, I always work to get them to the point of hearing from God for themself, as this is much more effective and brings far deeper healing than I could ever lead them to on my own.
The minister's own issues
I am not saying that there isn't a place for prophetic words, or stepping out and sharing something you know the Holy Spirit gave you to share with them. There most certainly is a place for that wonderful and life-changing ministry! However, please be aware that often ministers resort to this type of ministry because of their own issues it is not uncommon for ministers to feel under the gun to perform in ministry and if sparks don't fly, it's their fault. That is rooted in that minister's own pain and faulty beliefs. If a person doesn't get any sparks flying, and you feel like a failure, you have issues that need to be worked through. It is not your job to make the sparks fly. The Holy Spirit is their counselor and wants to speak to that person directly and lead them into all truth. As ministers our goal is to help them to recognize their heart beliefs, and get in the position where they can hear from the Holy Spirit themself. The Holy Spirit is their counselor and wants to speak to them, not only in the present ministry session, but also when they are doing laundry, taking a shower, or cooking breakfast. Although there are many times when we benefit with a minister to take us through a session, there are many people who understand this type of ministry find that simple truth-time with Jesus can yield some very fruitful ministry sessions. My goal is to introduce them to their own personal counselor from heaven, and get them to receive counsel directly from Him. Giving them what they need to know directly during a ministry session can short-circuit that goal, and they will miss out on a lot of healing because they never learned to go to the Holy Spirit for counseling.
The idea that God won't speak to them personally is a lie from the pits of hell and itself is based on wrong beliefs of their heart! If you want to get down to brass tax, many ministers are afraid of God not speaking to that person, so they do the job themselves. Why doesn't God want to speak to that person directly? Why aren't they hearing? What is blocking them? What is getting in the way of that person being led into all truth by the Holy Spirit? Those are the questions we need to be asking ourselves as ministers!
Do you want to become a skilled minister? There are two primary areas you must study and gain experience in: First, you must learn the art of getting that person to recognize and own what their heart really believes, thus getting them out of the place of denial regarding their heart beliefs is absolutely priceless skill to master. Secondly, you need to study and become familiar with, are the common roadblocks, hangups, guardian lies, and such that keep people from hearing from the Holy Spirit. That is one of the most crucial and life-changing things you can become skilled at. If you can get that person to a place of honesty about their heart beliefs, and help them to get truth from the Holy Spirit, you will change lives in ways that you could never change them with a hundred college degrees and 50 years of counseling experience. The Holy Spirit will beat you every time hands down when it comes to counseling you will never bear the fruit He can bear in that person's life. I don't even try anymore!
Other practical applications
The number of areas of our lives that can benefit from this type of ministry is endless. Many times people don't have the faith to receive their physical healing, because of self-worth hangup issues. Many of us know that God can heal us, but our hangup lies in our feeling worthy to receive our healing. We may believe something in our heart such as, "I am not worthy to receive healing. I've not been a good enough Christian." Since our healing depends on what Jesus did for us and our receiving it by faith, it really doesn't have anything to do with being good enough to receive (that works mentality actually dishonors what Jesus did for us!). So dealing with the lies which hinder a person's healing is crucial to their receiving this great blessing that God has for every one of His children. Whether it's a simple cold or flu, or a bone that needs to grow together, the price has already been paid. The question is, why aren't we believing that the provision for physical healing applies to us? What is our hangup there?
The same goes for other blessings of the New Covenant, such as financial provisions, receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and unlocking our spiritual gifts. Many times we don't believe that we're worthy to receive spiritual gifts from the Holy Spirit, and that's a major hangup for many of us. But Jesus told us clearly that those who believe will be speaking in tongues, casting out demons, lying their hands on the sick and so forth:
"And these signs shall follow them that believe In my name shall they cast out devils they shall speak with new tongues They shall take up serpents and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."
Mark 16:17-18 KJV
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also and greater works than these shall he do because I go unto my Father."
John 14:12 KJV
Why aren't most Christians walking in these things? Because of two reasons: either we don't know what belongs to us in Christ, or we don't really believe in our hearts that it applies to us because of some reason we aren't worthy (or something like that). If the father of lies cannot stop us from knowing what God can do, he'll attempt to block us from personally walking in God's plan because somehow it doesn't apply to us, or we aren't worthy to partake in it. Those above scriptures apply to EVERY believer, not just some select believers. I realize there are spiritual gifts that do apply to just some believer, but these passages apply to all of us! Plus, those gifts that Paul said were divided among the body, at least one or two of them are given unto EVERY one of us as well. So you might not have the gift of wisdom, but you may be a prophet or have the gift of faith! But the point is, the manifestation (not a talent, but a supernatural gift that requires the Holy Spirit to be engaged in order to operate!) is given onto EVERY believer!
"But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit To another faith by the same Spirit to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit To another the working of miracles to another prophecy to another discerning of spirits to another divers kinds of tongues to another the interpretation of tongues: But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will."
1 Corinthians 12:7-11 KJV
Now let me take this to the next level. Why don't you feel like you could raise the dead? Jesus commissioned His disciples to go forth and raise the dead just like casting out demons (see Matthew 10:7-8). Now this is a big one, but honestly think about this one, and let your heart answer the question. What would stand in your way of operating in this level of kingdom manifestation that Jesus has called us to walk in? Remember that Jesus told us that those who believe will do even greater works than He did (see John 14:13)? He raised the dead, so we are expected to do even greater than that! Many of us if asked this question might respond with things like, "I am not worthy to do such things for God" or "You have to be a really strong Christian for 20 years before you can do such things" or "I don't read my Bible enough to do things like that." Does reading your Bible make you worthy to walk in the things of God? No, it educates you on the things of God and tells you what belongs to you, tells you what things to avoid in life that will rob from you, and so forth, but your righteousness is not in your Bible reading, it's in the finished work of Christ, and whether or not you receive it by faith. Jesus praised the faith of children, because they simply believe they don't logically reason away something, they just accept it with pure innocent faith. That is how we must be if we are to walk in the supernatural like God intended for us.
Is raising the dead some impossible kingdom manifestation? Not at all. As a matter of fact, I personally have 5 friends of mine who has raised the dead, some of them multiple times. One of them to this day still has a struggle with smoking and is trying to give that up. What does that tell you? It doesn't take a perfect person to raise the dead, it takes a person with childlike faith who receives the finished work of Christ and believes that what Jesus said is true. That is what kingdom faith is all about folks and we're all called to walk in that!
So why can't you see yourself raising the dead? What has your heart been believing that has been hindering your ability to walk in the supernatural as God has called you to walk in as His child? This is a great way to uncover lies that our heart believes about ourselves that is keeping us from living out our full potential that God has called us to.